Ian Daniel Stewart

If I Were In High School

If I were in High School I would definitely be making fun of the following chapter titles from Moby Dick. But, of course, I’m not. I’m a real live, honest to goodness grown-up who would never think of making fun of the following chapter titles.

  • Chapter 10 — A Bosom Friend
  • Chapter 30 — The Pipe
  • Chapter 41 — Moby Dick
  • Chapter 54 — The Town Ho’s Story
  • Chapter 60 — The Line
  • Chapter 63 — The Crotch
  • Chapter 80 — The Nut
  • Chapter 81 — The Pequod Meets The Virgin
  • Chapter 86 — The Tail
  • Chapter 124 — The Needle
  • Chapter 125 — The Log and Line

I’m glad to be a respectable adult who’s above that sort of thing.

9 responses to “If I Were In High School”

  1. EegahInc Avatar
    EegahInc

    You said “nut”. Heh Heh Heh.

    Reply
  2. Elliot Avatar
    Elliot

    The Town Ho’s Story?!? That probably sounds way more interesting than it is…

    Reply
  3. Imani Avatar
    Imani

    Ha ha! “The Pipe”.

    Reply
  4. Ian Avatar
    Ian

    Ah, we’re all a little Beavisy and Buttheadsy inside aren’t we?

    Reply
  5. Tallfreak Avatar
    Tallfreak

    HAHA. Funny post. I never realized Moby Dick had so many funny named chapters. Good thing I didn’t have to read it in high school. I would have been cracking up too much to concentrate.

    Reply
  6. clemens Avatar
    clemens

    I think Herman intended them exactly the way your readers understood them. After all, he did jump ship to spend several months dallying among Polynesian nymphs and their coconuts. Made a best seller out of it too.

    Reply
  7. Ian Avatar
    Ian

    Thanks, Tallfreak. Welcome to Upper Fort Stewart.

    And Clemens, “Polynesian Nymphs and their coconuts” wins todays comment section contest. Your prize is in the mail.

    Reply
  8. JaneDoughnut Avatar
    JaneDoughnut

    And if I weren’t an adult, I would have just spewed Coke out my nose.

    Reply
  9. Ian Avatar
    Ian

    Aw, go ahead, Jane, let it fly! 🙂

    And welcome to Upper Fort Stewart.

    Reply

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