Today we have Upper Fort Stewart’s first embarrassing reader dilemma.
Here’s my problem: I’m a really good reader, I mean, really good for my age (I’m in Grade Seven). So I figured I could use a challenge, Leonardo wrote backwards in his journal, I thought I could try reading upside down. Unfortunately, I decided to try it out in English class and my teacher caught me. She thinks I was just pretending to read and daydreaming. Now I look like an idiot and no one will believe I was actually trying to read. The truth, I admit, is just too ridiculous. What should I do?
That’s a tough one, D. Especially for a middle school kid. Reputation is everything in that zoo. Here’s what I would do: just go with it. Be the goofball kid for a while. Live it up. Then at the end of the term surprise your teacher with a brilliant essay on alternative modes of reading and their associated enhancements to creativity and cognition. That’ll do.
Alternatively, I have a plan B. Of course I have a plan B. It might get you into trouble with the authorities but life is short — listen: break into your class at night and cut all the covers off every book*. Then, glue them back on upside down and backwards. What do they get you to read in Junior High anyway? The Incredible Journey? No one will be too upset with a messed up copy of The Incredible Journey, will they?
Okay, they probably will. Maybe you shouldn’t do that. At all. Um, stay in school.
Anyone else have any advice? Any legal advice? Don’t forget to send me embarrassing reader dilemmas of your own.
*Don’t do this. Ever.