Embarrassing Reader Dilemmas

I’m instituting a new feature here at Upper Fort Stewart. If you send me your embarrassing reader dilemmas I’ll solve them for you. OK, I won’t necessarily solve them for you, I’ll just give you some good advice. Wait, did I just write good advice?

Here’s a few sample dilemmas to get you started:

I’m trying to get through Steinbeck’s Grapes of Wrath; I’m really trying – honest. It’s just this: that first page is too much. Ugh. And the dust! And that stupid turtle! Can you tell me why I can’t get through this book? Is it just Steinbeck? Is it me? Is it because I’m drunk? Was trying to read classic literature at a party a bad idea? Please help.

For years I haven’t put sugar in my tea even though I love it. Why? It’s all because of that nasty George Orwell. In A Nice Cup of Tea he says that adding sugar to tea destroys it’s flavor – but I don’t like that flavor! Should I listen to George Orwell or not? P.S. He’s not a very nice man, is he?

On my blog I complained and complained about libraries, saying, essentially, that I would never go back to one again after all the bad experiences I’ve had with them. Then out of the blue one day I popped in. Then, after another visit, well, you know how these things are, one thing led to another and I checked some books out of the library! I’m so ashamed. How can I tell the readers of my blog what I’ve done?

Ouch! Those are tough ones. Good thing they’re just samples. If you’ve got an embarrassing reader dilemma of your own that you need help with send me an email with the word “dilemma” in the subject and let me know if you’d like to remain anonymous (otherwise, I’ll print your name and link back to your site, if you have one). Upper Fort Stewart will help you out.

7 responses to “Embarrassing Reader Dilemmas”

  1. You checked out a book out of the library, didn’t you? Didn’t you?

    Boy that Victoria Beckham link at the bottom brings back memories. I wonder if that book club ever got started?

  2. What? Library? Who, me?

    Ah, the precious memories of blogland. Google won’t tell me if Vicki’s got anywhere with the club.

  3. Orwell not a nice guy? Are you still holding that attempted rape of his first girlfriend against him?

    I thought everyone read at parties. You just pick up the first book laying around and start. It is especially useful when someone you don’t want to deal with tries to engage you in conversation.

  4. Maybe I should bring a book to every party. It could be a great conversation starter:

    “Hey, you, what’s with the book?”

    And a great conversation ender:

    “Oh, this? It’s so I don’t have to talk to you”

    I need to carry an emergency copy of Grapes of Wrath with me.

  5. What!?

    You don’t bring books to parties with you *already*???

    I’m shocked and appalled!

    Am I the… only one, then?


  6. Nope. Just my bad old self that tells the same stories every time. I’m like a well-worn book!

  7. […] The beginning of my little, semi-regular feature (well, there’s one in the series so far). Maybe I could be, like, the Strong-Bad of lit-blogs. How does he type with boxing gloves on anyway? Read Embarrassing Reader Dilemmas » […]

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