Things to do with your pet monkeys

The Simian Dictionary of Sir Richard Burton.

3 responses to “Things to do with your pet monkeys”

  1. Elliot says:

    I tried to get my monkey to drink alky-hol!

  2. Ian says:

    The monkey was drunkey.

  3. Ian says:

    Maybe the monkey weren’t drunkey…The Monkey SpeaksThree monkeys sat on a coconut treeDiscussing things as they are said to beSaid one to the other, now listen you twoThere is a certain rumour that can’t be trueThat man descended from our noble raceThe very idea is a big disgraceNo monkey ever deserted his wifeNor her baby and ruin her lifeYeah..the monkey speaks his mindAnd you never known a mother monkTo leave her baby causing it to plunkNor pass them on one to anotherTill they scarcely knew who was their motherYeah…the monkey speaks his mindAnd another thing you will never seeA monkey build a fence around a coconut treeAnd let all the coconuts go to wasteForbidding all other monkeys to come and tasteNow if I build a fence around this treeStarvation will cause you to steal from meYeah..the monkey speaks his mindHere is another thing a monkey won’t doGo out at night and get on a stewOr use a gun a club or a knifeTo take another monkey’s lifeYes, man descended the worthless bumBut, my god brothers, from us he did not comeYeah..the monkey speaks his mindDave Bartholomew

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